Day 157: Don’t Give Up

What can I say, it’s been one hell of a year. I won’t labour the point here about the ‘stressful’ or ‘unprecedented’ times we live in, but by most people’s standards it has been a pretty difficult 12 months. Whilst acknowledging the difficulties and hardships may people have faced and continue to face, I feel it is also important to point out that if you’re reading this, you have made it. As is often the case our sentiments regarding past events are the result of our experiences, feelings, understanding and beliefs. For me, 2020 has been a year of two distinct halves.

Even before the pandemic the first half of my year was pretty wretched. As 2020 dawned I was full of hope for the year ahead but was nonetheless horribly sick. By mid-January I had had the tube inserted into my neck had been started on dialysis treatment. Dialysis improved my physical well-being to an extent; the machine kept me alive but I was entirely dependent on it. It was also restrictive and life limiting, not only for me but for the whole family. We muddled through, learning on the job but with my dialysis sessions increasing to six days a week, the first lockdown came and went and we barely noticed. I only left the house to attend clinic appointments, attend dialysis sessions and to exercise alone. As time went on and like so many others, my world began to shrink.

And then, the day after the first national lockdown was lifted (as I have documented in these pages) everything changed. Through a fateful combination of good fortune and another family’s tragedy, I received a kidney transplant from a deceased donor. The transplant program had been paused throughout the first lockdown to provide capacity within the NHS, but was re-started to coincide with restrictions being lifted. On the Friday I received a call asking if I consented to being re-activated on the transplant list, on the Saturday morning at one minute past midnight, restrictions were lifted and at 6:15am on the Sunday morning my telephone rang with the offer of a kidney. Then began a whirlwind of surgery, specialist care and slow recovery which is ongoing to this day.

2020 has been the best year of my life; I have been given an new start. I have returned to work, I am running again and can eat (more-or-less) what I want so have migrated back towards the plant-based diet I so enjoyed, but was told was killing me. Along with the support of my family, friends and the NHS, we have faced challenge after challenge and we have adapted and overcome. 2020 has forced us all to rise to extraordinary challenges and we have grown exponentially as a result. We would be foolish to take any of that for granted. My journey through 2020 has had it’s ups and downs but I know it has been no more challenging than many others. Although our end destination may be unknown and it may feel like progress is slow, remember that what we achieve has little to do with speed but everything to do with direction.

To quote from my favorite artist and hero Paul Simon, speaking to his audience back in 2016; “Crazy times huh? Don’t give up”.